Nerves

Well emotions hit me as I was waiting to go through security :) haven't really cried or shook like that. So happy. This is it! It's really really exciting!!!!!!!
I love you little girl!!!

Top of the hill

Well here we are - at the top of the hill for the roller coaster about to go really fast and make my stomach do flips!!!! I am 14 hours away from starting my journey to China for the second time. Taeya I am so happy that I 'accidentally' opened the email with your picture in it back in January. I am even more shocked and happy that the same day I opened that email your new Baba said that we should go back to China and adopt again. Your picture pulled me in and I couldn't stop looking at your face. Now you are pulling me to you so that I can be the mommy you have dreamed of. I can only hope that I can live up to the honor of being your Muchin. I keep looking at our bags and think how they will be in China in a matter of hours. Then in a matter of days you will be wearing the clothing that I and many others have picked out for you.

I am fully aware of the irony of wanting to get to you but never wanting this anticipation to end. It's like eating cheesecake... It's so delicious and even if you eat it slowly you will eventually run out. Then I can just savor the memory of how intense this wait is for you.

I love you Taeya. I'm coming - ready or not

Muchin

48 hours!!!!!!

I cannot believe that I am only 48 hours away from starting to get to China!!!! I will be to you my love in ONE WEEK!!!! In one week you will have the mommy that has tried like the dickens to learn Chinese. You will have the mommy that thinks your smile should be on the front page of every paper. You will have the mommy that dreams of what it will feel like to have you reach for my hand for the first time. I look at Braelin and see this little girl that was once a tiny little baby. I look at her and I can still see the room where she was placed in my arms for the first time. I wonder what is going on right now in the room that I will meet you in in one week. Is there another family in there starting out with their new daughter or son? I wonder about what you are doing right now. Are you playing with new friends at the swi wondering still what is about to happen? I promise I'll do everything I can to try and ease your pain lovey. I will try and show you that I WANT you and will never abandon you... I love you so much. I can't believe that the time is so near. We set a place for you at the dinner table last night :) Braelin's idea. It was our last dinner as a family of four... The next time we have a meal as a family at that table you will be there with us <3 (BTW I hope you like cereal and ramen noodles :) I'm a terrible cook!!!!!) Your gege and jiejie are going to grammy and grumpas house today. I leave in just 48 hours from now. I'll be on a plane right now in two days on my way to NYC and then Beijing!!!!! I am so excited to finally get you!!!!!!!

Love

Muchin

Gumdrops and lollipops

Not sure if I'll be able to use this or I'll have to use another way of getting pics to family and friends watching along our trip to china - so here is plan b Gumdropsandlollipops@yahoogroups.comOrhttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/Gumdropsandlollipops/Or send me your email address if I haven't sent you an invite and you want to follow along <3Love Brandi

In-China Itinerary for the Kuhn Family 

11/23 Arrive Beijing with CA982 at 6:20pm.

Your guide Cindy Lee or George Jiao will meet you at the airport and escort you to the Qianmen Jianguo Hotel.

11/24 Sightseeing in Beijing: Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City, Beihai Park, Hutong tour. 

11/25 Sightseeing in Beijing: Great Wall, Mutianyu Section. 

11/26 Free day 

11/27 Meet and take custody of the child at the orphanage.

11/28 Go to the Civil Affairs Office for adoption paperwork.

11/29 Sightseeing

11/30 Apply for the child’s Chinese passport. 

12/1 Sightseeing 

12/2 Go to Guangzhou with CA1339 (12:00pm-3:10pm). Your guide Elsie Chen OR Sarah Gao will meet you at the airport and escort you to the Garden Hotel.

12/3 Child’s visa medical examination, including the TB test.

12/4 Sightseeing in Guangzhou.

12/5 Return to the medical clinic for TB test result. Pick up child’s Chinese passport. Prepare documents for the visa interview with the guide’s assistance.

12/6 Visa interview and oath ceremony at the American Consulate at 10:00 a.m. 

12/7 Pick up child’s visa in the afternoon. 

12/8 Fly to Beijing with CA1310 (8:30am-11:30am).

Arrival in Syracuse 8:55pm!!!!!!!  

Travel Stuff

Travel Info!!!
Flying out!!!  
Tuesday Nov 22 5:50am
(will be in NYC until 3:50pm)
Arrival in Beijing
Weds Nov 23 6:20pm(China time)
Staying at Red Wall Garden Hotel
Touring Beijing Nov 24-26
GOTCHA DAY Nov 27th!!!
Flying to Guangzhou
Dec 2nd
Staying at the Victory in GZ until Dec 8th
FLYING HOME
Dec 8th 8:30am(China time)
then in Syracuse by
Dec 8th 8:59pm(Syracuse time)
FAMILY DAY!!

Now I remember

OH yeaaaaaaaaah that's right!!!  I remember how this works now!!!!  I don't sleep for about a month.  Until the jet lag from the flight home is gone sleep will only come in short bursts.  It's like christmas EVERY DAY for a month!!!!!  This is when I wrote most to Braelin in her journal and here I am writing to you in yours at the beginning of a very wonderful journey for you.  I just remember in China after gotcha day I would just sleep about 4 hours or so and then I would sit awake in the doorway almost of the hotel room on the floor.  Just listening to your sister sleeping and writing postcards to your brother.  Good times.  Good times.  Now I will have SOOOOOO many gadgets for those moments!!!!  I'll be able to keep up with the blogging for our family and I can even spend time on Skype talking to the kids in the middle of the night in China because it's the daytime here!!!!  Oh I just can't wait!!!!!!
I can't wait to see the sparkle in your eyes!!!  I can't wait to hear your voice as you and I try to communicate with each other!!!!
Well I'm off to look for what hotel I want us to stay at in Beijing!!!!
Love
Muchin

Cloud 9

I feel like I am in a dream right now.  We got the travel approval!!!!!!  I am so elated I can't even put words to this!!!!  I get to dream about you and know that there is a date to go with it.  I can think about you and know when I get to kiss your cheek.  I can plan my flight to you.  I can plan what I can take pictures of in Beijing for you.  I can plan on what to bring you in your little back pack.  I can plan your Christmas for you!!!  I can think about having three children in our home for Christmas!!!!!  I can think about the wonderful warm holiday meal that we will all have together on Christmas day.  I can...  period plain and simple I can now...  I am just so happy.
Honestly I've waited so long for this moment that I'm trying not to think about what this means to you.  But I would be doing you a great injustice if I don't give honor to what this means to you.  Tomorrow they will probably come to you in your foster home that you have known since you were three and they will take you from there and without telling you what they know. They will place you in an orphanage that you will have no memory of being in three years earlier.  I just wish that they would tell you what they know.  That we have worked doggedly to get to you since falling in love with you in January.  I can only pray that they won't tell you that your foster family doesn't love you so that they can feel justified in doing it this way.  I can only pray that they won't say things to you so that they can feel better about your grieving.  I can only pray that when you and I meet that you will feel how much love we have for you and that I want to do everything I can to be the mommy that you dream of.  I will never hurt you.  I will always love you.  I cannot remember a time when I didn't have you in my heart.  
The tears come freely now.  I don't have to hold on anymore so that i can hold out till the end. It's the end of the paperchase.  WE ARE ALL YOURS!!!!  I will be to you in a matter of two weeks.  Whatever pain and tears you will feel over the next two weeks I will do all I can to try and help them eventually go away.  I will do all I can to make you the happiest little girl in the world...
I love you so much
Dear SiYu....
Love
Muchin

Due date past due

I keep thinking that this part is like a pregnancy due date.  We are aware that you are due to us any day.  We know that we have no control over this part.  We know that we wanted to get you yesterday but that didn't happen so we will just have to do...  Our TA is like the water breaking and we will know that you will be coming sooner than later.  Without the TA we just walk around eating spicy food, jumping up and down all just trying to get you to get things started :)  Then come the contractions and the pain - the 20 hour flight and the 36 hour day of traveling.  Finally we are almost there!!!!  Just one more push through this last bit of the painful wait.  Then the door opens and you walk through.  Everything complete.  Pain over.  It will be like we were never without you.  All the waiting will melt away each time I kiss your cheek.  But for now - we are past our due date and we want you yesterday... and every minute without you is agony.  

Timeline almost finished!!!

Taeya I just stare at our timeline and remember starting this site for our family and friends about us becoming yours.  I can't believe that we are just one milestone away from getting you!!!!!  I am reminded very solemly that as excited as we will be to get the travel approval that is also the time that you will be told that you are leaving your foster family and that you are getting a new totally strange to you family.  I cannot promise that it will be easy SiYu but it will be worth it.  I won't know how to answer the questions of why you were first abandoned or why your foster family chose not to adopt you.  I am sure that it is somewhere along the lines of them knowing that if there is a special family out there that chooses to become yours then that family would be better able to give you a super life with lots of abilities and not all the struggles that would start for you at 14 and never end...  I am also sure that they loved you and it was an agonizing choice for them both to do so.  I am sure that your foster family showed you love and care because of how you wanted them so badly in the video we have of you.  I am sure that they will never forget you and that you have the personality to stay in their memories forever.  
I found this poem for you today....  I love you SiYu and am just one more day closer to getting you...
KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- © Pamela Durkota

Hour after hour after hour!!!! I just want to go to CHINA already!!!!!! Tomorrow will bring our Article 5!!! Then we just hunker down for two weeks and get that travel approval!!!!! Then I'm outta here!!!!!! So as of today the LEAST I have to wait to leave for China is 4 weeks!!!!! THAT"S 28 DAYS!!!!!!! I found a TON of things to do with you when we are in Beijing together. That is if you are up to it. We can go to this arts and crafts place and you can do some pottery on a wheel. We can also go to a toboggan ride if you are up to it!! That way you can feel China if you can't see it!!!! You'll remember that feeling of your first 'ride' as being done in China!!!! I'll stop here and go search for more for us to do... Love Mommy

Every Single strand of hair

Taeya - oh my this part of the wait is just like pulling out every single strand of my hair!!!  We had a lovely party for you this weekend.  It was splendid.  My besties (in order only by length known!!!  I love them all so much!!!)  Shelby, Lisa, and Michelle all made a tea party fit for a queen.  They made me feel so special and they did it all for our new daughter - you.  Then we went to Michelle's cabin for a really fun night of staying up late, drinking wine and watching a HILARIOUS girlie movie!!!  I thought my ears were going to burst I was laughing so hard!!!!!  It was so nice to be able to talk about you and plan for you and think about you nonstop for the whole weekend.
This week will bring forth our Article 5 on Friday then we just have to wait for my travel approval and I'm outta here!!!!!!!!  I can't wait to be with you.  I can't wait to finally have you and to be able to start our lives with you in it!!!!  I can't wait to make you laugh and smile.  I can't wait to see what you are like!!  Are you sassy like your big sister??  Are you introverted like your big brother?  Or are you someone completely different from them just like they are different from each other?
I look constantly at other people's blogs to see how long they waited for their TA after receiving their Article 5 and I can't really put it together.  I just have to have profound faith that God will make it happen and I WILL be to you November 15th!!!  My friend Julie Pettit said that it would be really cool if I could travel to you 11/11/11!!!!  That would be so cool!!!!!
Well I could ramble on forever but I'll stop here and try and go do something productive...
Love you dear
Mu chin

Taeya - this is one of the hardest parts of the wait...  so close,  so close that I am packing and repacking and unpacking and repacking.  I am not sleeping all through the nights or if I do I wake up SUPER early like 3am and I start thinking about you and I can't go back to sleep!!!!!!  I envision meeting you for the first time.  I envision you and I strolling about in Beijing together.  I can almost feel you reach for my hand as we would walk next to each other.
The two last things that I have to wait for are TOTALLY out of my hands and it kills me that I can't do ANYTHING to speed them up.  Just sitting on our hands waiting for China to give us our Article 5 and our Travel Approval.  Article 5 will be here Friday October 21st.  The Travel Approval I am positive thinking and PRAYING a WHOLE LOT that it gets here in two weeks after the 21st.  Which would put me to you by November 15th...  It's so hard to calm down once I get started daydreaming.  I can't focus on learning Chinese anymore.  Not until I can get the last two things down.  My mind is all over the place unable to light on anyone thing for very long.
I have started walking more.  I know that I am a far cry from being as in shape as I was when I was in China last time.  I know that I have to be up for LOTS and LOTS of walking for two weeks.  I got a back pack today for my only carry on.  In another week I'll start carrying that around with me when I go for my walks.  I am nervous about getting to China with just the one carry on...
I think about you all day, every day.  I hope that you are being well cared for and loved a lot today.  I hope that you know who we are by now but I know the chances are slim that you do.
Well it's a gorgeous day here and your big sister and I are going to go for another bike ride soon so I should get going.
Daydreaming of you
Mommy

Consuming my China

I'm finding that thinking about China consumes my every thought.  The fact that the time I spend there in comparison to the time that we will have Taeya is so infinitely small.  I am there and back in a blink.  The moment being over before I even knew it began.  Just like when I was there for Braelin.  I know that we did so much when I was there but I barely remember any of it.  I want it to go slow this time.  So I can savor every last moment in the country our daughters were born in.  I want to be able to experience being with Taeya in her country before bringing her to her new country.  I want to see the wonder on her face as I take her to the different sights and smells and sounds of China that she may have never been to.  


I think of it like this - no one wants to go through labor forever but who wouldn't go back to the anticipation that consumes you before you have a baby for the first time?  Who wouldn't want to go back to that wonderous time in life.  I remember the moment before we got our girls in GZ.  I thought my head was going to explode.  I was crying and a bundle of nerves.  They walked us past the room with the girls in it and I SWORE I saw Brae and it made my head spin!!!!!  Turns out it wasn't her that I saw but still.  


What is it going to feel like waiting for them to bring me Taeya?  What is she going to do when she sees me up close?  Is she going to smile that cute little smile of hers?  Is she going to have tears in her eyes from her loss of her foster family?  Is she going to have that cute little twitch of her lips and blink in her eyes?  Is she going to understand me when I try and tell her things that I learned to say to her in Chinese?


 I can't believe that we are only less than 8 weeks away from me being in China.  My head is just trying not to want to hurry because the anticipation of the event is bliss... but also wanting to hurry because I just want her to be here and for us to be all hers.

Provisional Approval granted from the US!!!!!!  9/26/11!!!!!!!!

Clarity that wasn't there yesterday

Dearest Taeya,  We just have a handful of things left to wait for before I can travel now.  I feel as though I am so close to you like if I opened my eyes wide enough I could see you.  I look at the last picture of you differently now.  It's like I see you in a clarity that wasn't there yesterday.  I look at the shape of your hands.  I look at the pretty little teeth in your mouth.  I look at your perfect eyes that look like a crescent moon when you are smiling super big like you seem to do a lot.  I am starting to think about the sound of your laugh.  Like can I hear it in the picture??  I can almost hear you speaking Chinese to me.  I can almost hear myself answer you in Chinese.  I wonder if you know of us yet.  I wonder what you are doing right now.  Is someone holding you?  Is someone telling you they love you? I went to the store today and bought the simplest of things - a toothbrush.  It was so simple that it hit me hard.  You are coming soon.  I can go to China soon to get you.  I can go to China soon.  Soon I will know the sound of your voice in my ears.  Soon I will know the smell of your breath when you talk to me really close.  Soon I will know what it feels like to have you reach for my hand as we are walking somewhere.  I will soon know what all those cute little facial twitches you do look like up close.  I will get to see you do that really cute blink you do with your eyes. I will get to smell your hair and touch it.  I can gently pull your hair back from your face and tuck it behind your ears.  I can read you a story.  I can kiss you goodnight and hold you until you fall asleep...  soon...

I suppose that I should update here!!!!!  WE HAVE OUR LOA!!!!  Letter of Acceptance!!!!  So I filled out all of our paperwork regarding this and our other forms that are due now and returned them to YuPing in less than 24 HOURS!!!!!!!  She was shocked!!!!!  So now This is where we are at!!!

 Terms and Notes:

• NBC-National Benefits Center
• NVC-National Visa Center
• I800-seeks approval to adopted a specific child

*Some agencies will send your I800, LOA and all supporting documents to the National Benefits Center (NBC).    Some agencies will send you all documents needed to file your I800 and you will have to send it to the NBC.

• I864W- Intending Immigrant's Affidavit of Support Exemption
• *DS230 -This is your child’s visa application. It doesn’t “have” to be sent with your LOA but don’t wait too long b/c it needs to go with your documents to GZ after your Provisional Approval arrives.
• In general agencies will send all your (LOA) paperwork and DS230 to the GZ consulate after your receive I800 Provisional Approval. Check with your agency for specific details as to how they assist you with your paperwork between LOA and TA.
• Timeframe-In general it is taking 2 to 3 months between LOA and TA; roughly 3 weeks from LOA to Provisional Approval, 1 week from Provisional Approval to NVC letter, 3 to 4 weeks from NVC letter to Article 5, and 2 to 3 weeks for Travel Approval

Which in my feeble brain translates into me being in China during thanksgiving!!!!!!!!  SO she would be here in time for Christmas!!!  With the latest surgery stuff for me going on this week coming up that is just the best news!!!!!!!

With this last step we are now able to send her things!!!!  You betcha we sent her stuff!!!!!  A sound book and a bumpy ball that lights up.  A stuffed horse and a photo album with like 200 pics in it of us!!!!!!  I sent it to someone in China who translates it for us...  SO if the SWI gives it to her before I get there I'll be so tickled!!!!!!  I can't believe that we are getting so close to it!!!  We are going to have a little mommy tea party fundraiser to try and get all the $$ we need for me to travel to China and back.  Can't wait to share in the joy that is our second adoption in China!!!!!!!

LID!!!!

We got our LOG IN DATE!!!!!!! 7/28/11!!!!!

DTC!!!!

We got a DTC!!!!! July 20, 2011!!!!!!!!! We are inching closer!!!!! This is our paper chain to China!!!!

DTC soon!!!!

DTC early next week!!!!!!!!!!

WE GOT IMMIGRATION I-800A APPROVAL!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!

SO dossier goes out this coming week and I should be in China in October!!!!!!!!!!

Hello:

I hope this email finds you all well. I am delighted to inform you that your I-800A application has been approved. The Notice of Approval will be sent to you on Monday and a copy to your accredited agency via US mail. I look forward to assisting you further throughout this process.

Regards,

Margaret R. Wilson

Hague Adoption Unit

Department of Homeland Security

United States Citizenship and Immigration

Fingerprints at Immigration!!!

YIPPIE!!!!!! JUST GOT OUR APPOINTMENT NOTICE to GET OUR FINGERPRINTING DONE!!! Why am I so excited about this?? because Ron travels every week and I've been worried that the appointment would be in the middle of the week - and he couldn't do it and we'd have to reschedule over and over until it was on a Friday or Monday. But that's not the case!!! It's a MONDAY!!!! In just two weeks!!!!! One more step almost done!! Then DTC!!!!!

Longing to belong to you

Our paperwork has finally landed into immigration's lap and we are just waiting everyday to hear back from them. Every day I run out to the mailbox after the mail has been delivered to see what we got. So far just an official looking receipt from immigration saying that we sent our paperwork and monies in.
Today I was listening to music and found this AMAZING song that seems to speak right from my heart to our new little girl. So Taeya dear this song and all it's words I give to you from Eddie Vedder... (who btw is an AMAZING musician one of my and Ron's fav's!!)
Longing to belong to you
I'm falling harder than
I've ever fell before
I'm falling fast while hoping
I'll land in your arms
cause all my time is spent here
longing to belong to you.

I dream of circles perfect
eyes within your face
my heart's an open wound
that only you can replace
and though the moon is rising
can't put your picture down
love can be frightening when you fall

and when the time is right,
I hope that you'll respond
like when the wind gets tired
the ocean becomes calm
I may be dreaming but
I'm longing to belong to you.

It's as though they peeked into my heart and read what I was thinking!!! I dream of your eyes being perfect in your face. I can't put your picture down. You are all over the house in pictures. You are everywhere I go all day long. And when I do come to bring you home I hope that you will be just like when the wind gets tired and the ocean becomes calm. I am always thinking about how I am longing to belong to you <3
Love your Mommy

Testing posting pics and videos

MOMMY'S SO HAPPY!!!!!!!

just got our case worker for the adoption and our I800A is out!!!!!!

Dear Ron and Brandi,

My name is YuPing and your file has been assigned to me. I am your main contact person from this point on and will assist you through the remaining of the process until you are home with your child.

I’d like to schedule a call with you to officially welcome you and to go over any questions you have at this point. I am available tomorrow in the afternoon and all day Friday. Please let me know what would work the best for you! The call should be about 30 minutes.

I also filed your I-800A to the National Benefits Center today, you’ll hear from them in the next few weeks about your fingerprint appointment.

Regards,

Yu Ping Kuang | WACAP | China Adoption Case Manager/China Development Director Assistant

Mommy's sad

Mommy's sad :( Just found out that the reason that our homestudy can't go to Immigration yet is because they are waiting on getting child abuse clearance from Georgia. Ron lived there for like a blink when he was in the military. Apparently lots of messages have been left (including one from me) but with no answers. WACAP said that Georgia is one of the hardest states to get clearances from :( It stinks that I get all our papers done in two weeks for something like this to hold it up... It's like being in the lead of a race and then at the halfway mark you have to stop and let everyone pass you by until they say you can go...

Taeya Claire SiYu

Here is the video that we have of our hopeful new daughter. This was taken in December 2010. Remember that she doesn't know anyone in the room and all she wants to do is get back to her foster father. She is so perfect and wonderful in every possible way...

Try this too

Just another test this is me in china with another mommie like me. So lucky that our girls are 'sisters' and she is one of my besties!!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Testing from Syracuse

Just testing out a couple things so we can figure out if I'm


getting an ipad2 for going to china with.

thinking china

Most days I am good about waiting for our daughter. I think that this time around I am clearheaded and not ocd about the wait. Today my thoughts were in China. Just thinking about her and wondering what she did today and is going to do tomorrow. Did someone hug her today? Did someone make her smile? Did someone's heart skip a beat when they heard her talking? Did someone tell her that they love her today?

I can't wait to travel to China. I can't wait to do it all over again with just me and her. I can't wait to just have two weeks just her and me. Just playing and being a mother and daughter together. I can't wait to look at her face and see her see my face for the first time. I can't wait to hear her speak Chinese to me <3

OK I promise tomorrow I'll be patient and I'll bring myself back to the two kids that I have here now!

I love you SiYu.

Happy birthday our love

Happy birthday to our daughter - Taeya Claire it is our hope that wherever you are today that you are loved and cherished. Know child that this will be your last birthday without a forever family. Next year for your 7th birthday we will be the ones to love and cherish you!!!!

All our love Mama Baba gege and jiejie.

timeline chat

I received this message today from our agency. They are still making all the adjustments and translations necessary for our dossier to be complete. Hopefully it will go out this week or next?? This talks about our 'timeline'. It's not really saying anything different than we already knew. It still looks like I'll be there in late summer early fall... (but like I always say - i'm thinking hopeful for June!!!!)

Hi Brandi,

Your HS first has to be sent to USCIS with your I-800A. Once you have immigration approval and all of your dossier documents are in your dossier is sent to China. This is referred to as DTC.

So once we have a notarized HS we send the HS with your I-800A to USCIS. It is taking about 60 days for USCIS to process the paperwork and issue immigration approval. Once we have the immigration approval and it has been notarized along with your other documents your dossier is sent to China. Your dossier is usually logged in within a month of the time it is sent to China. We notify you of your log in date once we have it from China.

Sincerely,

Beth

First things first

OK so I'll start blogging so that when I do get to china for the second time I'll have a site all set

up for everyone to visit and get updates of Taeya Claire.

For right now there are no updates other than we are homestudy approved, all our paperwork is done and we are waiting.... waiting for a log in date (LID) when our dossier is actually logged into the china adoption authorities. Then we get a letter of acceptance (LOA). And wait for various other things - too many really for me to list here. I'll get more detailed as time goes on and more things come in.