Consuming my China

I'm finding that thinking about China consumes my every thought.  The fact that the time I spend there in comparison to the time that we will have Taeya is so infinitely small.  I am there and back in a blink.  The moment being over before I even knew it began.  Just like when I was there for Braelin.  I know that we did so much when I was there but I barely remember any of it.  I want it to go slow this time.  So I can savor every last moment in the country our daughters were born in.  I want to be able to experience being with Taeya in her country before bringing her to her new country.  I want to see the wonder on her face as I take her to the different sights and smells and sounds of China that she may have never been to.  


I think of it like this - no one wants to go through labor forever but who wouldn't go back to the anticipation that consumes you before you have a baby for the first time?  Who wouldn't want to go back to that wonderous time in life.  I remember the moment before we got our girls in GZ.  I thought my head was going to explode.  I was crying and a bundle of nerves.  They walked us past the room with the girls in it and I SWORE I saw Brae and it made my head spin!!!!!  Turns out it wasn't her that I saw but still.  


What is it going to feel like waiting for them to bring me Taeya?  What is she going to do when she sees me up close?  Is she going to smile that cute little smile of hers?  Is she going to have tears in her eyes from her loss of her foster family?  Is she going to have that cute little twitch of her lips and blink in her eyes?  Is she going to understand me when I try and tell her things that I learned to say to her in Chinese?


 I can't believe that we are only less than 8 weeks away from me being in China.  My head is just trying not to want to hurry because the anticipation of the event is bliss... but also wanting to hurry because I just want her to be here and for us to be all hers.