Cloud 9

I feel like I am in a dream right now.  We got the travel approval!!!!!!  I am so elated I can't even put words to this!!!!  I get to dream about you and know that there is a date to go with it.  I can think about you and know when I get to kiss your cheek.  I can plan my flight to you.  I can plan what I can take pictures of in Beijing for you.  I can plan on what to bring you in your little back pack.  I can plan your Christmas for you!!!  I can think about having three children in our home for Christmas!!!!!  I can think about the wonderful warm holiday meal that we will all have together on Christmas day.  I can...  period plain and simple I can now...  I am just so happy.
Honestly I've waited so long for this moment that I'm trying not to think about what this means to you.  But I would be doing you a great injustice if I don't give honor to what this means to you.  Tomorrow they will probably come to you in your foster home that you have known since you were three and they will take you from there and without telling you what they know. They will place you in an orphanage that you will have no memory of being in three years earlier.  I just wish that they would tell you what they know.  That we have worked doggedly to get to you since falling in love with you in January.  I can only pray that they won't tell you that your foster family doesn't love you so that they can feel justified in doing it this way.  I can only pray that they won't say things to you so that they can feel better about your grieving.  I can only pray that when you and I meet that you will feel how much love we have for you and that I want to do everything I can to be the mommy that you dream of.  I will never hurt you.  I will always love you.  I cannot remember a time when I didn't have you in my heart.  
The tears come freely now.  I don't have to hold on anymore so that i can hold out till the end. It's the end of the paperchase.  WE ARE ALL YOURS!!!!  I will be to you in a matter of two weeks.  Whatever pain and tears you will feel over the next two weeks I will do all I can to try and help them eventually go away.  I will do all I can to make you the happiest little girl in the world...
I love you so much
Dear SiYu....
Love
Muchin